How to handle those who try to destroy and never support you

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be with people who have your back, being excluded, being inprisoned, being isolated, bullying at home, Emotional abuse, everyone can build a castle, feeling like you can never win, How to defend yourself when you have people bullying you, how to stop reacting against bad people, physical abuse, safe haven, those who twist your words, turning your kids against you

Hello and welcome! Now you aren’t seeing things I was writing this blog post at 3:25am, and once again someone has tried to destroy my soul, but everytime this happens I am not going to stay down but fight and let them know that they don’t scare me at all, and are just doing it for the sake of it.

I would sleep but if you read my previous blog post I have been having terrible nightmares. I can’t wait to start again and have a fresh new year to create and make lots, for you, and would like to say Thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me on this site and for liking my posts too. I do want to be away from my present situation. I no longer want to live where I was in Epsom, but live in London still and want a new life.

Here is a link to my previous post:

https://everyonecanbuildacastle.com/2020/12/27/reflecting-on-the-year-2020/

So how do you handle those who try to destroy and never support you,

• Don’t give them the benefit. I.E: Focus on those who do have your back and if you aren’t ready to talk about it, allow the time with the person to switch off from those trying to hurt you
• Create a plan to move away from them, and never allow their anger to rub off on you, and set them straight that they do not intimidate you, and they are making themselves look senile and stupid
• Tell someone outside the situation. I suppose this is related to the first tip, but there are those that can have your back, but once you try to talk to them, they can shut you down and say to you that they do not wish to be invoved, so talking to someone on the outside, can be your safesst option
• If they try to inprison you can call the Police as it is illegal to do this. It is a form of emotional abuse and a form of bullying
• Bullies come as a pack usually, not as an individual so see if you can speak with the culprit on their own or have someone with you, to confront them. I used to think this wasn’t a good idea, but often when they see they can’t hurt you to get the reaction they want, they will give in or get more angrier and if they physically harm you then don’t stay silent, get help and support
• If they begin to exclude you then don’t let this get to you, and get out of the situation for a bit. If they try to isolate you allow them to do so, so you can pop out and be with the rest of the world for a bit
• They may try to push as many boundaries as possible to press your buttons, that will make you turn and be physical with them. Make it clear that they can do what they want but are just going to make it worser for themselves, and you do not care
• If they start using your kids against you and not allowing you time with the children in your family, even if they aren’t yours then remind them you care for them too and would not do them any harm, or inform them if you are the parent of the child that you have a right to be with your kids not them. If they aren’t the mother either talk to the parent of what that person keeps doing and then talk to them once they are on their own to say, that there behaviour is not right and that you have a right to talk and entertain those children too
• They turn everything you say. Keep a journal with date and details of the conversation, or record it. When they do this then remember that their hurtful words are more about them and not you. They just feel that you should be target number one, and want to bring you down to their level.
• They make you feel that you are fighting a losing battle, because you feel that you can’t win, no matter what you do. So just do what you can. I got blamed about washing up, yet I always washed up but then someone didn’t like me doing that, so it was like “So what do you want me to do?”

Life can feel especially when you have these people in your lives hard work, but it needs not to be and so have a safe haven, a place you can go to take you away from those people, mine is my local gardens or the town where I now live in London.

Have something that helps you stay calm, as often people who want to destroy are doing it to get a reaction of hate back and to make you cry or be angry.

Meditation is a great way to switch off, or like I do, I get engrossed in my work whilst listening to music and sing my heart out, and this helps me stay calm, focused on the things that do love me and I love too.

Please stay true to yourself and strong and we can get through the time that are tough together and get rid of the negativiity that can often takeover our lives.

I wish you a good week as it is Monday again, and if I don’t post before new years Eve, then Happy New year and lets embrace 2021, which shines with many positive things.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie (L.M) X

Looking forward to New Year 2021

I can’t wait to see the back of this year, it is an understatement that it has not been good, I am going to make sure that things change for me and be with those who I absolutely love and adore.

All I have ever wanted in my life was to be happy, and yet I am still in 2020 and I don’t care how many times I say it is true. I am never going to stop wanting happiness, doesn’t everyone want that?

Of course!

So anyway, if you had a shitty year then fear not as it can get better and I am going to make sure that all those bad ones go away.

There are gonna be times where hurdles will arise but just keep going and never stop believing.

I thought COVID would change lives but not like they have and some may see this as bullocks, but it has been a life changer and want to move on, be with my new man and new family, to start all over again.

So I am listening to the Pogues, with Kirsty MacColl, The Fairytale Of New York, and is such a comfort blanket and helps me to block all the bad things away. OK so some may see this as crap, but do I care, no.

I will continue to set goals, follow positive habits and be productive, and do more of what I enjoy rather than listening and doing things because some people see it that I have to, not that I want to.

So, where to begin with a new year,

• Drink and eat what I like when I like
• Watch TV when I want to
• Keep watching TV that is funny
• Wash up when I want to
• Laugh when I want
• Go out when I like and not being told
• Be with my kids
• Have a bloody good holiday

I will be watching Jools Holland New Years show, hoping it will be on this year and watch the fireworks up London to begin the new year.

So lets get ready and raise our glasses, and say fuck it and lets start again with a bang and all those that aren’t happy about that, jog on.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Being Human and not a cretin

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anti-bullying, being bullied in a workplace, being human and not a Cretin, Being super human, call out and get out, carries blog network, carriesrealworld.com, cretins, criteria of a bully and an abuser, everyone can build a castle, running a business, self defence, Self development, work policy, Working together, workplace bullying

This post is in relation to one I have posted before, and wanted to touch on this subject again, because still there are people who want to do harm to people, and as far as I am concerned has no place in society when they do so.

Check out my previous post:

Being Super Human

Bullies and those that carry out abuse to another human, do posses a certain criteria.

• They will blame other people for the abuse they carry out and bullying, whilst carrying on abusing and bullying
• often they will diguise themselves as nice people at first to cover up what they will do, once they have won a person over. This overshadows often those who are genuinely nice
• They will exclude and put people in a corner so that person has no where to go
• A hug or sexual contact is not genuine and false, and is manipulation, and you can tell when they begin to get aggressive or slowly show their violent trait, that they are going to get worse,

If you spot any of these signs,

“Call Out and Get Out”

This Image is for my Abuse and Bullying Campaign

They are just examples above and as far as I am concern they are Cretins.

You may see yourself as a constant target, because you are a good person and they are jealous of everything you do.

Ignore and fight back, but there is a song by, Kelly Clarkson, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I remember reading a guys article disputing this line, but it is true because you can come out of the other side, you often spot the signs quicker and find that you do have inner strength, that you never thought you had.

As soon as someone takes jab at me, I will strike a bigger blow and you can do it too, and I do think that they should teach self defence in schools, to help and teach children to be street wise, and be able to fight back.

Can you still run a business when you know there are people against you ?

Absafuckinglutley, and in fact you should in all busnesses you run, if you have staff that work for you, you should have an Anti bullying or abuse policy, so if it carries on, you can deal with it and stop it.

Noone has the right to prevent someone in doing their job or run a business, and those Cretins should be moved on and given an instant Criminal Record, if not banged up in Prison, as soon as it has been proven that they are guilty and for their own safety as they can be their own worse enemy, as there are those that will fight harder and put those in my experience, not saying I have done this, but I know it can happen, in hospital, which really noone wants.

My dad as a kid was fed up of seeing me getting bullied and got me in the Living room and said right, and he gave me some gloves that were mini boxing gloves and showed me how to throw a punch, and it did protect me in the end, and no I don’t condone violence, but you can’t always walk away and I know I have said this a lot in my blogs, but want to keep saying this, because it is true.

So kick out and get those Cretins away from us, and keep fighting, being determined and you will still succeed, where they won’t because they get too caught up in hating people, who can build success and they can’t.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

P.S: If you would like to see what else I like to write about then please, see my video below:

How to cope when there are people who are against you

Tags

be with people who love you, Bullying, bullying at home, everyone can build a castle, fight back, how to cope when there are people who are against you, looking after your wellbeing, looking after yourself, negative people, uncomfortable atmosphere, unworthy

So this year has been a rollercoaster and that is no exaggeration, it is sadly true, and I have opened to the fact that there are those who were born to be evil, and having nothing nice to say about anyone, apart from themselves.

I am gonna give you some tips if you too have experience a uncomfortable atmosphere and how to cope with it. Many say walk away, but that isn’t always an option, but these are;

• Don’t entertain them. If they try to make you feel intimidated or they are threatening you, then don’t entertain them. Let them get on with it, and if they get in your face, then react by saying “I know what you are doing I am not scared so go away”.
• Focus on those who do love you. It can be like being in a horrible bubble you can’t get out of, and so if there are others who do show you love and consideration then focus on them, as they are the sort of people that have always got your back.
• Try and see if you can speak to someone outside of your bubble. Having home help, real kind, as there are some fake ones out there, can really make a difference, as often it can be difficult to know who you can turn too, and if you are a small child or a teenager reading this, speak to Childline who can help or have a chat with your GP to see if they can refer you to someone like a therapist or counsellor.
• Let them see that you don’t really have a problem with them, it is often one rule for one and another rule for everybody else, and by showing them that as much as they dislike you or have a problem with you, you don’t really have one with them, which can often be the case.
• Fight back, by showing them that no matter how much they try to demolish you, your going to carry on regardless. Many people who are not nice, don’t like to see anyone be happy and successful, but never allow it to stop you. Its your life, your rules not theirs.
• Don’t react like they expect you too. Being someone who was bullied from an early age, learned how to react to the opposite to how people like them would expect, and not being angry back is one of them, and keeping a steady voice can help and that you aren’t going to hit them, like a lot of not nice people do, unless they go to far then a clout never hurt anyone to those who are just plain evil.
• Take yourself away for a bit. I don’t mean move away completely as that is not always an option, but for a few hours or so, so you can spend time with those who do love you and where it is not uncomfortable, as a bad atmosphere can be like a massive weight on your shoulders.

We often can’t choose who we want to be with all of the the time, but you can as these tips above show still be happy without them, and live a happy life still.

I hope this blog does help and just a quick note, I am raising money for a charity called Tommy’s this year as we draw near to Christmas, and so if you wish to donate, here is the link below:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/theparentingadventuresprematurebirths

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

Is life worth living?

First all I hope you are having if possible due to the coronovirus, are having a reasonable easter. I did and I not going to get into too much detail but I was picked up by the Police as they thought I was at the wrong address but I wasn’t.

I am now having to take a new medication due to my depression and anxiety and so don’t feel like I am being a slob due to the fact I am still in my pJ’s I just found this new medication to be really strong, but I don’t see that my life has gone down hill I see it as it has gone up, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have been feeling suicidal not gonna lie and it can be a day to day battle with myself continuously, seeing people die of this virus is what is keeping myself at bay.

I wrote a blog about Suicidal on my related site:

https://buildingselfconfidencetud.blogspot.com/2020/03/feeling-suicidal.html

People say it is selfish and attention seeking, but it isn’t. It is a terrible feeling of isolation, thinking you don’t belong and unwanted by people.

You can come out of it though by doing something still incorporating abundance in your life and keep going.

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/2020/04/16/getting-through-this-pandemic/

Create conference or Skype call with friends, and if you have what I do home help where by I have Keyworker who visits, speak to them with a love one so they can get to know what to do should you have a break out of depression and anxiety. They are there to help.

So if you do feel worthless, look around you as you will see that Life is worth living. If you have negative people in your life then I have written a blog on my related site to this one about Dealing with Negative people.

https://buildingselfconfidencetud.blogspot.com/2020/04/dealing-with-negative-people.html

Please check out my last weeks blog newsletter wishing you a happy easter!

https://newsletterthoughtsandadvicefortheweek.blogspot.com/2020/04/first-of-all-happy-easter-to-everyone.html

So I hope we all can get through this week and the effects of the coronovirus begins to reduce so we can all return to normal.

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

 

 

 

Newsletter blog: Thoughts and Advice for the week

Check out this link to my weekly newsletter post which are my thoughts and advice for the week. The contents are related to this blog site:

https://newsletterthoughtsandadvicefortheweek.blogspot.com/2020/03/being-happy-is-key-to-happiness.html

Regards,

 

Carrie X

Celebrating Christmas by doing Blogmas

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articles, Blogmas, Books, carriesrealworld.com, Celebrating Christmas by doing Blogmas, everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com, finish the year on a high, Good things about Christmas, Lets get ready for Blogmas, sportsand fitnesspassion, the parenting adventures, topics that I would like to share as this time of year can be hard, videos, Youtube

This year I have decided that I would do Blogmas to help get me and everyone who reads or who are new to my blogs, in the mood for Christmas and so this means I will be posting blogs everyday from tomorrow (1st Dec) to Christmas Day (25th Dec) on my various sites that I write blogs on, including this one.

The links to my other sites are as follows:

https://www.carriesrealworld.com/

https://everydaylivingandlifestyle.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventurestipsandtricks.wordpress.com/

https://theparentingadventuresthebirthofmyson.wordpress.com

https://sportsandfitnesspassion.wordpress.com/

There may be some videos, articles, books and various topics that I would like to share as this time of year can be hard for some people and like myself there was a time when I dreaded Christmas.

However there are good things about Christmas too and will be sharing how you can finish this year with a bang by creating positive changes into your life that will set you up to have a better Christmas and finish the year on a high.

If there is a particular topic you would like me to talk about that will help you then please leave a suggestion by adding a comment below. You can keep up to date with all my blogs on this site and my others by following on WordPress.com.

You can also see my posts on  Pinterest and my social media pages too:

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/carriesrealworl/

 

Social media:

https://www.instagram.com/cazzasrealworld/?hl=en

https://www.facebook.com/carriesrealworld

https://www.facebook.com/Carries-Everyday-Living-and-lifestyle-261704010959953/

https://www.facebook.com/czavonuk/

 

Twitter

https://twitter.com/carrie82434764

Have a great weekend,

Many thanks for reading,

 

Carrie X

How to manage feelings of being overwhelmed

How to manage feelings of being overwhelmed can be a hard task as we keep piling more items on our to do lists and being wanted in many different places at once, it just can feel endless.

My first tip is to take some time out for yourself and do some self care, this can be journalling, taking a hot bath, going for a walk or exercising for 5 to 10 minutes each day. Self care means looking after yourself, and if you have kids that is even more important to take some time out for yourself.

Second tip is to be more productive, check out my blog about ten hacks of being more productive, and set a side time for each item on your list, and be realistic as to what you can achieve in the time you have.

Delegate, if there is something for example my husband can do, then I let him, like he will vacuum whilst I go round and dust, he will pop to the shops whilst I am working, life can be a juggling act and why not share the responsibility if there is two of you.

Take time out, and do something other than work, sometimes it can feel like we are glued to our computers, rather than reading a book or watching TV. You are allowed that time, rather than working all the time.

Practice mindfulness, can really help and can help concentrate on what is around us and take in our environment for two to three seconds. That is all it takes.

So next time you feel overwhelmed listen to your mind, if it needs a break take one, everyone needs to be able to recharge their batteries including humans.

I hope you liked this blog, please click below if you did, and remember to follow me on WordPress if you would like to be kept in formed of my posts, and subscribe below.

Let me know how you stop yourself from being overwhelmed I would love to hear, you can comment below or fill in form below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

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10 Hacks to being more productive

If there was a pill that would make us naturally more productive, rather than sitting on the couch all the time, would you take it?

Of course we would, so how do you become more productive?

Here is Ten hacks to being more productive.

1. Make your bed. Sounds simple, but it can be so easy to slip back in, if it is still all over the place, so make it as soon as you get up
2. Write a to do list the night before and circle the items that need to be done first
3. If you have tasks that take 2 minutes do them straight away
4. Brush your teeth, no one likes a gammy mouth, and I hate talking to people knowing I have bad breath, so brushing your teeth helps you feel better about yourself and sets up the day
5. Block time out to do things, so if you have ten minutes spare then mark it down, and then if you want to chill for that ten minutes before you continue your day then do so. Use Google Calendar as you can set alerts on your phones, helps keep track on tasks
6. Listen to an audio book whilst you doing errands. I love doing this when doing some cleaning for examples, makes it seem less of a chore
7. Learn to say “No” there is nothing worse than double booking yourself, so if you can’t make that party or that event say so, don’t leave people hanging, you wouldn’t like it, so neither will they
8. Restrict your social media usage through out the day, as this can easily cause us to waste time, unless we are using it to promote our work if you to run a website, a blog or have a Youtube channel
9. Set days a side to update your Instagram, Facebook or Pinterest account, I do and it helps make sure I don’t spend to long on each task
10. Schedule time to check your emails, or do this whilst travelling on a bus or train some where, can help speed up the travel time.

So I hope you found this hacks useful and if you have any hacks then let me know by filling in the comment section below or filling in the form below.

Please remember if you did like this blog to click the like button below, and to follow me should you want to be kept update on my blog posts, and remember to subscribe aswell.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

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Managing Mental Health

As it is coming up to Mental Health month I thought I would speak out, as I too have suffered with mental illness wanted to share how I manage my Mental Health.

It has taken over my life in some cases, to point I needed to be taken to the hospital. Too much was going on in my life, I was in debt, recovering from Post natal Depression, which I was to scared to speak out about, and I felt like I wasn’t happy with myself.

I expect there are people out there who don’t understand about Mental Health and how it can effect people, but it is like your mind taking over your body, not in a good way, and listening to the inner critic all the time.

The one that tells you, your fat and ugly, the one that tells you that life is so terrible and that everyone is better off without you.

All you want to do to that inner critic is shout SHUT THE F**K UP.

You feel like you are falling down a hole that you can’t get out of, as much as you try. There are still days where I get so depressed or my anxiety gets the better of me, that I don’t want to do anything, and it can take over my whole wellbeing.

The constant battle I have had with myself still continues, but I have learned through developing good habits and changing my life around of how to overcome and control my mental health, but it can take a lot of work.

You have to be patient and learn to breath. Mindfulness can really help and makes you look around you, take in your surroundings and just listen to your breathing.

No you don’t have to sit on the floor with your legs crossed, you can practice mindfulness anywhere, check the book Mindfulness On the Go.

If you are sick of seeing the same four walls then get out of there and see something new.

Speak to that friend you have been meaning to contact for ages

Take yourself out of your comfort zone even if it is for 5 seconds, and count 5, 4. 3. 2, 1

Check out my blog about Mel Robbins, The 5 Second Rule

Be willing to make that change and do it gradually, taking as much time as you need.

Let’s support each other, as creating a good foundation is important, check out my blog about Creating a Foundation.

If you like this blog then please click below, and remember to subscribe plus you can follow me on WordPress.com and you’ll be alerted of more of my blogs.

Do you suffer or have suffered with Mental Health? How do you manage it? I would love to hear from you, you contact me by filling in the form below.

Many thanks for reading,

Carrie X

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